What They Never Told You About the Facts of Life
The Facts About Sex Are Only the Beginning of the Facts of Life. Sure you know about the birds and the bees. But do you know what happens after conception? Do you know what you looked like two weeks into your mom’s pregnancy? Do you know the amazing facts about the first nine months of your life?
Take this quick quiz to find out.
- You started swimming and doing back flips:
A. When your mom was 6 months pregnant
B. 9 weeks
C. 8 months
D. Forget the back flips, you can’t even do a good belly-flop
- If you kept growing all 9 months as fast as you did during your second month, you would have been born as big as:
A. Arnold Schwarzenegger
B. An M-1 tank
C. A pair of overfed elephants
- When did you most likely feel pain for the first time?
A. When they cut your umbilical cord
B. When your mom was 7 weeks pregnant
C. After a big lunch in a cafeteria
- By the time your mother found out she was pregnant, you were:
A. A tiny speck smaller than the period a the end of a sentence
B. A miniature human with arms, legs and a heartbeat
C. A ball of cells the size of a marble
- Your mother says you started to kick and poke her:
A. 3 months into the pregnancy
B. At 4 months
C. Never mind when you started, when are you going to stop?
- 5 months into the pregnancy you got a lot of hiccups because:
A. Your mom was pigging out on pickles, ice cream, pizza and sardines
B. You swallowed amniotic fluid
C. Your diaphragm was being formed
D. You couldn’t find a bag to put over your head
- Before you were born, your skin was:
A. As wrinkled as a California Raisin
B. As waxy as a statue from Ripley’s Believe It or Not museum
C. Both of the above
- When did you start using your brain?
A. When your mom was 8 months pregnant
B. When she was 40 days pregnant
C. If you still haven’t started using your brain, go on to the next question
- When was the color of your hair determined?
A. At conception
B. 3 months into the pregnancy
C. Only your hairdresser knows for sure
- 5 months before you were born, your heart pumped enough blood every day to:
A. Overflow a coffee mug
B. Fill half a tank of a Firebird
C. Fill an Olympic size swimming pool
- When did you first start looking like either a boy or a girl?
A. The seventh month of pregnancy
B. The end of the second month
C. When the doctor announced to your parents, “It’s a…”
- If your mother smoked while she was pregnant, you may have been born:
A. Overweight and overdue
B. Underweight and premature
C. With yellow teeth and a nagging cough
- How premature can a baby be born and still survive?
A. 4 weeks early
B. 8 weeks early
C. 16 weeks early
- When did you begin to look like your mom and dad?
A. When your mom was 6 months pregnant
B. When your mom was 4 months pregnant
C. Who cares when it happened – does anybody know a good plastic surgeon?
Answers to Quiz Questions:
- B. At 9 weeks you could swim a mean backstroke. Your favorite technique was a little backwards walk, leading with your head.
- C. It’s a good thing you slowed down after the second month, or your birthweight would’ve been 14 tons. Let Daddy try bouncing that on his knee!
- B. By 7 weeks all the structures necessary for pain sensation are functioning. You would try your hardest to avoid the source of pain.
- B. About 8 weeks after conception, all systems were go: skeletal, nervous, digestive, circulatory and respiratory. The only job left was to refine what you already had.
- B. At only a couple of months you started to shake, rattle and roll, but you were too little for mom to notice. By 4 or 5 months, however, she swore you had a black belt in karate.
- B. Not only does amniotic fluid make a cushy “water-bed,” but it’s also full of glucose (sugar). Swallowing the fluid was good practice for your digestive system and made for a healthier baby.
- C. About half way through the pregnancy, you had lots of nice skin but not much fat to fill it out. That’s why premature babies look wrinkled – they need more “meat on their bones.” The wax-works effect was caused by the vernix, a thick whitish cream which covered your skin to protect it from the amniotic fluid.
- B. Fetal electric brain waves have been traced as early as the sixth week. What do you suppose you were thinking about?
- A. At conception, each parent contributed approximately 50,000 chemical “instruction sheets” (or genes) that determined not only what you look like, but also your health, talents, tastes, athletic abilities, intelligence, allergies, and more.
- B. 4 months after conception you were pumping 6 ½ gallons of blood each day through a body about as long as your hand is now. And it was your blood, not your mother’s – you never shared her circulatory system. You may even have a completely different blood type!
- B. You were either male or female from the point of conception, but it took about 46 days for parts to be recognizable. Thanks to modern science, parents can now see the sex of their unborn baby with the help of an ultrasound machine by about 4 months. At last, they can answer the age-old question: “What color should I paint the nursery?”
- B. A smoking mom sends nicotine, carbon monoxide, carbonic acid and wood alcohol right down the line to her baby. Smoking 2 packs a day reduces a baby’s birth weight by 10% – which can seriously reduce the infant’s chances of survival.
- C. With modern technology, babies as young as 22 weeks after conception, weighing only 14 oz., have survived premature birth. You would need a lot of medical help, but would fight like a champion to hold on to life.
- B. During your fourth month, you grew to the grand height of 8 inches and began to resemble your parents. At 10 weeks you had a unique trait that may interest the FBI someday – fingerprints. Nobody ever had or will have the same set.
*All prenatal data is from conception onward.